Change....

So I know that it has been a while and apologize for that. but tonight has hit me and hit me hard. I came down here to improve and experience stuff when really all i have done was change who i am. And not in a good way and some girl that i have just met a few nights ago has kind of opened my eyes to this. I didnt improve myself yet i havent even found myself yet. I will fix this and will get better at being who i really am. I dont need to be who i have been the past few weeks I didnt come here to make people think that i am a wreck that i am not responsible and what not. but i think thats what i ended up doing by showing a little bit of a fake Brett and I am sad to say this cause its breaking my heart even thinking that i would walk away from who i really am. i got this i will fix this. I may have scared this girl away because of me drinking the past few days yes its drinking related. i dont know how to fix it but i want to. i do not want people to think less of me because of alcohol related stuff. I am better than that i am way better than that. I didnt let her down, i didnt let my family down, I let myself down because i came to improve myself and all i am doing is hurting myself and i dont know how to control what i am doing. I am not saying i dont know how to control my drinking cause thats not my problem my problem is just letting myself over do it sometimes and now i feel really bad..... But i promise to myself ill be better whether ill ever have a chance at even being friends with her idk but if not i guess ill better myself for later on.


take it easy guys